Mary

To My Mama on Mother's Day,

My Mother is the epitome of the word. When I was growing up she made sure that my brother and I had the perfect childhood. And we did. She was a June Cleaver type, except with an edge. Dinner was on the table at 6:00- Always. She would take me shopping for cute new clothes for no reason, and then yell at my principal when he called to tell her I was dressed inappropriately.

To get me out of bed in the mornings for school she would sing the "Time to get up song," a creative rendition of a song I was taught in pre-school, and to this very day the words still haunt me. But I am actually looking forward to the day that I can torment my children with it. 

She made sure that my (inappropriate) clothes were ironed, my hair was done pretty and even through my first year of college helped me write wrote my essays. Shhh! don't tell.

She has been there for me through boyfriends and break ups, good new and bad, new jobs and career paths. I can always count on her to have a solution when I have a problem, even if it's just figuring out what I should make for dinner.

She doesn't care what people think and isn't afraid to be goofy. She is the reason that I am as strong and independent as I am. She taught me to speak what is on my mind, and I do! And to not take crap from others. She told me that I should never throw the first punch, but I should always throw the second. I've taken this to heart!

 

It's funny, a couple months ago, I was in the car with my little brother and a car swerved out of it's lane, almost crashing into the car ahead of me and making me swerve a bit too. Rather than yelling some crazy obscenity, all I got out was "Crimany! Crazy woman driver!" My brother looked at me like I had gone senile. That is exactly something my Mama would say.

 

(Three generations)

I also realized that I sit at the dinner table like she does with my feet tucked neatly under my bottom.

I have the strange habit of constantly rubbing my feet together like she does when I am on the couch. It's comforting.

We both refuse to buy store-bought pie crust.

We share the same love for the color pink.

We both have apple cheeks and fine hair.

And we both think John Hamm and Bradley Cooper are sexy.

The older I get, the more I realize that I truly am becoming my mother. Which, in my book is a pretty remarkable person to be.

Thanks for letting me borrow the best parts of you, Mom. I love you.

True Life: Girls Fart

This morning while laying in bed I was waiting for the dreaded alarm to go off, Wes was laying next to me  reading CNN on his iPad (yeah he does things like that at 6:30 in the morning.) I was situated on my stomach, so my butt was in the air. Out of nowhere, with no warning. I farted! SO Embarrassing!

Thank God it wasn't smelly, but it was loud, and shocked the hell out of me! I am pretty comfortable around Wes, but being a girl, I like to keep the human digestive system talke at a minimum. Meaning Zilch. I will do anything I can to hold whatever it is around any boyfriend. Infact looking back on it now, the only one I ever tooted freely with was my 5 year boyfriend from highschool. That's almost a decade of holding in gas!

As soon as it happened. I said "ohmygoodness! How embarrassing." and he just giggled and that was it. It was over. Not at all as terrible as Carrie Bradshaw's breaking wind encounter with Big. Still I'm mortified and will probably be thinking about it all weekend.

Miranda: So you farted. You're human.

Carrie Bradshaw: I don't want him to know that.

Hope you have a lovely weekend Diary Readers! I know I sure will as soon as I get out of the flourescent lit prison they call work!

Opposites Attract

I stumbled upon this and really liked it because it reminded me of Wes and I. He is an actuary and mathematics major and I am an interior designer with a second degree in fashion design. Wes definitely has a splash of color on his side too, (he's not all numbers and logic) but it's interesting. Maybe this is why we work so well.

The text for the left brain reads:

“I am the left brain. I am a scientist. A mathematician. I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear. Analytical. Strategic. I am practical. Always in control. A master of words and language. Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers. I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am.”

And for the right brain:
“I am the right brain. I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be.”

E-Harmony Part I

Things to know about E-Harmony:

1. Guys might be worse than girls in the picture department. I have seen more 3/4 poses, cell phone in the mirror shots and peace signs than I ever care to see. And if they're not posing weird, they're in snowboard gear or sunglasses or in a group of 10 people so I can't see them or point them out. It's VERY frustrating.

Also, I don't need to see a picture of just your bike. Or you in front of a BMW that is obviously not yours. Or just your dog (as much as I love dogs.) C'mon men! I gave you a plethora of pictures that look like me and show all of me. JUST ME. Why can't you do the same?

2. It's very addicting! I'm on E-Harmony more than I'm on Facebook. I love to see my new "What ifs" for the day and who has sent me messages.

3. There's a fun thing where you can answer random questions and then when you look at a profile you can see how many of those questions you have in common with that person.

So are you ready for it? 

I had my first date on Tuesday. I had a really great time, but it wasn't as e-harmonious as I would have liked. The guy was so sweet and fun. We had loads in common, but from the second I saw him I could tell right away why he was on a dating site, and it made me wonder, why was I? 

Here is how it went down:

He contacted me first. Looking at his profile I saw that he was a 28 year-old newly graduated lawyer who runs triathlons. His pictures were okay, but like I mentioned above it's hard to tell by pictures. I really liked how enthusiastic he was in his messages and he was witty. He also seemed "real." He asked questions about me and didn't brag about his car or the great school that he went to. It was refreshing. After a few emails back and forth he gave me his number and I decided to be brave and call him. We talked on the phone for over an hour and he was very sweet. We had plenty of things to talk about and ended the conversation with a date for the next day. Tuesday. I got all dressed up and met him at a little Mexican restaurant for Taco Tuesday. 

When I saw him I was a bit surprised. He did look like his pictures except he didn't. I'm not sure how to explain it. He was still in his work clothes, a dress shirt and tie. But instead of looking like Don Draper he looked more like: 

Toby Flenderson

Kind of a let down. 

And then he smiled. (First I want to say that looks are NOT everything but I need them and want them.) ....Okay, back on track. He smiled and I saw The Cumberland Gap! This was no little Madonna gap or a cute little quirk. This was a serious problem. A whole extra tooth could have fit in there! The worst part- he was so self conscious about it, I felt like a shit head for not being attracted to him.

The beginning was awkward at first but a few sips into our Cadillacs and we were back to the way our phone chat was. I learned a lot about him and genuinely had a nice time. When the bill came, he insisted on paying which I thought gentlemanly and when he asked if I wanted to go to the little bar across the street I thought him bold and accepted. 

We each had a beer and as we talked a bit longer. I started noticing his teeth less and some strange "gay mannerisms" more, they appeared out of nowhere! Lets be honest. I knew from the beginning of it that this date wasn't going to be MY LAST FIRST DATE but the strange girly eye rolls and fruity hand gestures were hard to handle in general. 

He walked me to my car and I told him what a good time I had- which was the truth and when I went to hug him, he went in for a kiss. We did the painful I know you just tried to kiss me and I blew you off thing. Hate that!

I don't plan on seeing him again. I would liked to have sent him a "I had a really good time" text but I didn't want to lead him on. 

He did call me tonight and left a voicemail. I have yet to listen to it and am not sure if I am going to call him back and tell him how I feel or just ignore it. Dating is so hard!

Since Tuesday though I have made a few very promising connections that might turn into dates. I will keep you updated!

The right time for SEX

Anna Faris's new movie has got me thinking a lot about dating and sex. I haven't seen it yet, and quite honestly I don't think I'll be wasting any of my movie gift cards to go to the theaters for it but for those who aren't aware of the gist, I'll explain it to you.

Anna plays a  hopelessly single woman who's convinced she's passed up the man of her dreams. After reading a magazine article that leaves her disheartened about her future marriage prospects, she begins to fear that one of her 20 ex-boyfriends/hook-ups may have been "the one that got away." So she pays a visit to each of her exes in order to reel in the perfect catch with a little help from her uber cute neighbor, Chris Evans, who I'm sure ends up being "the one".


In the movie she has the highest sex number of all her friends, 20. Now, I have to agree, this is a higher number, but for this day and age is it really? People are having sex younger, it's easier to have safe sex, and quite frankly, sex is everywhere! You can't escape it! 


Being a single girl myself, I would say I'm seasoned in the sex world. However, I'm past my point of having, shall we say "college fun." I did it and it was fun, but now I'm older and I'm not really looking for that anymore. I'm ready for something a little more serious. Which brings me to my next question. When dating, when's the right time for sex?


Whether you're new to the dating scene, you're a regular player, or you're jumping back in after long time off, how do you know when the right time is right for sex? This is a tricky question! If it's too soon you're a slut and if you hold out too long he can lose interest... (sad but true ladies.) According to Tom Leykis, a man should get sex with a woman after the third date. That seems a little soon to me, also, is this three dates in a row? Three dates in a month? Or does it even matter?


Of course I would say that you should do it when it feels right. But you should be ready for when it does feel right, and to do that you both have to be on the same page. I'm not sure if there is one formula or if it's a 'one size fits all' (if you will) kind of thing for every dating relationship. Each person is different and expects different things, but I think it is important to remember: sex does not always imply that there is a commitment. Having an honest conversation with yourself is important because you should know your emotional boundaries. Women are emotional creatures, and most of the time sex and emotions are one in the same. According to Dr. Cheryl McClary, professor at the University of North Carolina-Asheville, emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex. If you value your relationship you should ask yourself "What do I need to stay emotionally whole?" Believe me, in the heat of the moment, with a sexy man, I know that is way easier said than done! So you should have already thought about these things before hand. Ugh, right? To help you out with this, WebMD has come up with a few practical dating rules to help you decide when you'll be ready for the horizontal tango! 


1. Once you've decided what you would like out of a date, you should make it apart of your regular dating rules. 


2. If you want a one night stand, tell your partner that it's just the sex you're after. If you want more say so. This will help minimize later disappointments.


3. Make sure the sex that you will have will be safe (no STD's allowed!) and obviously it should be consensual.


I'm sure that most of you are thinking to yourselves "DUH! These 'rules' are obvious Kate!" And while I agree, I think that they may often times be overlooked. I am by no means a sexpert, but I am a single girl with questions! I know that I can't be the only one wondering how to play the terribly confusing game of love. And sadly I don't know if there are any real solid answers. If only life were that easy! But I thought this little post might help point some of you Diary Readers in the right direction when it comes to new dating and sex. Good luck and have fun! 
  
xoxo-