Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Ya Gotta See The Baby!

Friday night, Wes and I decided to start the holiday weekend right by getting off work early and enjoying each other's company with alcohol. About 4 beers in we realized it was nearing 7 and we were hungry. Not in driving condition we thought to order a pizza but I just wasn't into the idea of wasting a wonderful friday, stuffing my face with carbs and my ass weighed in to the sofa. SO we decided to get off our lazy butts and walk the mile and a half to Aliso Town Center for some 'On the Border' Margaritas and Mexican food.

We had just stumbled out of the house and were walking through the parking lot when we ran in to one of Wes's "friends"/ neighbor. See how I put "friends" in quotation marks? It's because they only know each other from drunken weekends at the pool. That's it. And by neighbor, I mean, he lives a few condo buildings away. Not next door. I actually did meet this "friend" and his wife at the pool once before, and at the time the wife was ENORMOUSLY preggo. Now she has a baby girl, which is very exciting.... for them!

After some awkward drunken small talk about said baby, "friend" asked us what our plans were for the weekend. Because Wes is a happy, dumb boy, he goes on about the fun activities that we had planned, all involving alcohol and fun. (we're not drunks, I swear!) The very tired looking new Daddy said back, "Well, I only asked because you'll have to stop by sometime and see the baby." Oh Joy.

Have I gotten to that age? Am I really to the point that going to see a baby is really a form of entertainment? It brought me back to this Seinfeld episode:

Please watch video for full effect.

Here's the thing. Babies all look the same when they're fresh out of the womb. They're puffy and red. They have blue eyes. And lets face it, they're kind of lame- Not much of a personality at 3 weeks. Sorry if that offends any new parents/ parents to be. I am just not a kid kind of person. I don't talk to them and enjoy it. I never babysat in high school and I sure as hell have never gone to a house whose occupants I've met once, to see their offspring. I mean, if I know you and like you, that's a whole different ball game. But the last thing on this green earth that I would want to do is go and uncomfortably see these stranger's baby. I hope they don't ask me to hold it. What if it's ugly? Do I have to tell them it's cute? I don't think I can lie to them... Who asks people they don't know to stare at their precious new human? It's not that I don't like all children. I want and will love my own ( I made a birthday cake for my dog for Pete's Sake ) but other peoples? I don't know. I'm not a fan. Maybe when my friends have kids I'll be singing another tune but for now, I'm fine baby free. In all aspects.

Wes cleverly and drunkenly ended with a "I'll give you a call this weekend, and we'll plan something." And we parted ways. Him to his happy new family, and us to happy hour! 

Turns out, we had a really busy weekend, and we never made it over there, but Wes received a text message tonight inviting us for this weekend. I am NOT excited for it. In fact, I think I might skip out and leave Wes to fend for himself on this one. Sorry Honey!

I'll let you know what happens!


1 comment:

  1. Wes should be on his own for this one. For God's sake, why would you need to see this stranger's kid?! HOWEVER, I expect lots of frilly crafts for my baby (which will obvi be a girl) and I think you will LOVE her! (No, I'm not pregnant, just delusional.)