Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Today was an eventful day. I slept in until 10 (which felt glorious,) I finally took down my Christmas decorations, I went on a three and a half mile walk with Rox and Nurse Bestie around Mission Viejo lake and I killed an abnormally large spider.

Here is the "Spider Story"

Caution: Arthropods were harmed in the making of this short story.

Being a female, I follow the girl stereo-type. I like the color pink. I like dressing up. Gossiping is second nature and I am afraid of spiders! Today while sitting on the couch enjoying a movie and soaking in some Pinterest hours, my roommate Kelsey ran frantically into the living room screaming spider! Although afraid of any kind of bug myself, Kelsey gets hysterical and would rather sleep on the couch than a room that once had a spider in it. I had to help her as my duty of being a roommate!

She asked me to kill it and I went in to the room to investigate. Sure enough in the very top corner of her bedroom was a black and red spider the size of a quarter. Now, I know it's bad luck to kill a spider in the house, but if its bigger than an ant it has to die. Dramatic? Yes. I scrambled to the kitchen and got a broom. (This was the only way I could get the sucker to my level.) With the broom I casually brushed the spider hoping it would crawl lower down the wall and into my awaited vacuum. This did not happen as I had strategically planned. Instead when I swiped the bug with my broom it jumped off the wall and strung itself from its web silk just feet over my head. This caused Kelsey to shoot off of the bed she was standing on and run out her door screaming, causing me to scream and causing the spider to not only drop lower but swing itself to the floor and go MIA for ten long minutes! After moving some furniture tearing apart the bed and basically destroying her room the spider reappeared, ready for battle! I hit it with the broom a few times but the thing wasn't even stunned. With all this commotion Roxie, of course had to get in the mix. We did about 10 more minutes of jumping, dancing and screaming before I got the big guns out: Kelsey's lame Fast and Furious DVD box. We did some more screaming and I chased the thing with the box, hitting randomly and missing every time!

Finally I got it. The poor thing lay crippled and dead on the floor. Feeling victory I yelled for Kelsey to grab some toilet paper to get rid of the body. But when I looked down to get it, the spider was up and running! The damn bug faked me out! I had to chase it around the room once more before getting it again. Even picking it up with the tissue it was still moving! Disgusting. I quickly wrapped the thing up and pranced to the bathroom and flushed the victim down the toilet- this seemed more final than the originally planned vacuum.

Now why am I telling you a story of the traumatic death of an innocent spider? Because it took 45 minutes of my time to catch and another 45 minutes of room re-organizing. That's an hour and a half of precious weekend time spent on a stupid spider that is a thousand times smaller than me but a million times scarier! Plus, now Kelsey doesn't want to sleep in her room! I'm thankful it wasn't in mine!

Hope ya'll had a fun-filled weekend!


1 comment:

  1. Hi Kate! I'm Kara, a new follower of yours (also Nurse Bestie's cousin!).

    I literally laughed out loud reading this story as I am DEATHLY afraid of spiders. I would have been like your roommate, running from the room and shrieking!