What is Love?

I have been single for a long time. Long Time. Sure I've had men in my life but none of them have wanted a commitment. This is something I understand and am actually okay with but one can only have so many casual relationships for so long until you get to the point of "now what?"

Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy being single. In fact, I have quite enjoyed it. I can do what I want, when I want. I don't have to think about anyone but me... (and Roxie of course!) I can flirt with cute boys. Accept free drinks at the bar. Have casual sex. Blah blah blah! It's nice. Plus, I think before one can really love another, they have to love themselves. Obviously, I think I'm awesome! And being single I have been able to have a ton of fun, finish college (twice,) find a job that I love and learn about who I am and exactly what it is I want along the way.

Now that I am finally on the path I know I'd like to go down, I'm ready to find someone to who wants to go the same way. I'm not looking for marriage right this second, but It would be nice to have someone with me who is committed to only me and who I can depend on for Sunday night T.V., my plus one to events, and double dates! Someone I can call at any time and share secrets with that even my friends don't know.  I haven't ever been on the "hunt" because I honestly believe that love will find you. My only problem is that now I work 40 plus hours a week. I do occasionally go out on weekends but I have already learned that you don't meet "relationships" at bars. I don't drink coffee so I can't do one of those 'meet cutes' at a coffee shop and I only ever go to the grocery store in sweats. My options are limited.

I have been on a countless number of bad "blind"dates set up by friends and have even blogged about them here. I have met guys while on vacation/ visiting home that are great and really liked that might be relationship worthy but geography is kind of a big deal. I don't do long distance.

Yesterday was my dreaded holiday. I watched the girl across the office receive some sort of japanese jungle of a flower arrangement in the morning and then two precocious boxes of chocolate covered strawberries in the afternoon. Was I jealous? No. Not about the obnoxious gifts anyways, but it would be nice to have someone thinking about me on a day that's meant for romance.

It was on my way home yesterday headed for a date of bad reality television and Chipotle with my roommate that I thought maybe I should try... *shudder* online dating. At one point I thought this would be a last resort. I figured online dating was for divorcees or middle aged people. I am neither. Thinking about it though, where else am I going to meet someone who is also looking to be in a serious relationship? Then while I was in bed watching "Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen" Patti Stanger from "Millionaire Matchmaker" was giving dating advice and recommended dating websites as well.  Of course if the Love guru herself says it's good than it must be!

So today I thought what the hell? Why not try it? And signed myself up for Eharmony. This is a new thing for me and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it, but I do know a bunch of people who have met online and have happy successful relationships. And I have nothing to lose? Accept for the $79.95 I paid for the 3 month trial.

I am going to use this blog as somewhat of a Diary to write about my experiences. My possible bad dates and potential amazing ones, while on my journey to find my Prince Charming!

Happy Wednesday Diary Readers! Wish me luck!