Saturday, August 11, 2012

Honey Boo Boo

Geeze Laweez. Have you ladies heard about the train wreck of a show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo?" I can't decide if you're better off, or if you're missing out if you haven't seen it. What's this show about you ask? It beats the devil's hell out of me. I've seen two episodes and I can't figure it out.

Here is what I do know.

1. They need to have subtitles because you can't understand a darn hillbilly word they say. Reading and listening, I'm still wondering how TLC's translators were able to come up with what was said. I'd think it was scripted except it's not.

2. I think June, the mom is also a star on TLC's other hit show "Extreme Couponing." It's odd that the family casually walks by shelves and shelves stocked full of laundry detergents, deodorants and toothpaste without mention that their dining room looks like a general store.

3. June may or may not be asian. No offense to anyone reading this. It's just her eyes throw me off.

4. All the kids and the husband are named after freaky CareBears like Honey Boo Boo, Pumpkin and Sugar Bear. Except for one lonely girl who is nicknamed Chubbs. Are they trying to dictate her suicide?

5. They attend an auction for half off, almost expired junk food. Who knew there was such a thing as a food auction? I thought that was called welfare. This was no laughing matter though. There was really a fast talking auctioneer who auctioned off pork rinds, chips ahoy and and mini lemon bunt cakes to serious competitive bidders in fold out chairs.

6. They eat cheese puffs for breakfast.

7. While Pumpkin and Honey Boo Boo competed in the Red Neck Games Mud-pit Belly Flopping Contest, Chubbs bobbed for raw pigs feet.

7.5 June, the Mom actually compared this red-neck games tradition to the Olympics.

8. Oh. Honey Boo Boo is or has been on the Show Toddlers and Tiaras and is best known for being the child to drink a healthy mixture of Mountain Dew and Red Bull she cleverly calls Go Go Juice. This is supposed to amp her up before her big performances. I think this would more accurately be called baby crack.

9. Honey Boo Boo has yet to win a title on Toddlers and Tiaras. I have NO idea why.

10. A wonderful beauty tip June gave to her girls: If you fart toot 12-15 times a day you're bound to lose

11. I forgot to mention. Their house is located 8 inches away from a train track that actually stays in use! I'm not kidding. Sugar Bear could stick his arm out a window and it could be lopped off if the train happened to be passing at that moment. I have to believe that the tracks were there before the house, so WTF was the builder of that house thinking? I can only assume it was the 4th little pig that wasn't mentioned in the children's story book because we was dumber than the first 3 and therefore it would have been to easy for the wolf to include.

Will I continue watching this filth that TLC (Once called "THE LEARNING CHANNEL") produces? Probably. Will I enjoy it? Most likely. Am I disgusted by what our world is coming to, as well as shocked by the pure entertainment this show brings me? Yes. But at least I redneckognize it!

Here's a preview of the show.



  1. OMG. I watched that last night with my roommate, and I was horrified. I'm from Georgia, and I can tell you, those kind of people are a rare bread. I just cant even believe them. I actually met the woman from the etiquette school, she came to a few events at my sorority, and I cannot even imagine how she dealt with the one girl "is it rude to fart at the table?" umm yah. Duh.

    PLUS the 17 year old is pregnant? So "Mama" is going to be a 32 year old GRANDMA??? shut up. I can't even believe this is a tv show.

  2. I did not see it, but I'm sooo curous. I feel bad for this new "reality" show. It kind of makes me sad, even if it is entertaining. Hopefully it won't last, but like i said I'm curious and hoping for a rerun. Thanks for sharing.

  3. I saw that recently too! That girl... we'll see if she ever gets married. Oh my laws.

    xo - Chelsi
    Blondie Diaries